After my thoughts on working smaller a couple of days ago, I’ve had a good couple of days recording. I’ve had some good fun playing something quite basic and edgy to the lyrics I posted yesterday.
One unhealthy pattern needs to stop though. A version of that song has been in my live set for a while. I’ve been trying to give it a makeover before I record it, but it’s still kinda an old song. The issue of having so many songs that I play live but have never recorded has been causing me so much stress. If you’ve seen me live, you’ll know things like That You’ll Never Know, Girls, You’re Not Safe In Here & Two Hours. These songs have never been recorded to final master standard. I really need them finished, but in trying to get them finished, I feel stagnant. I’m learning nothing new about myself going to the studio each day to wrestle old songs. It sucks because it makes my body of work feel really inconsistent to me. Some of the most important songs in my story haven’t been heard by even my biggest online supporters. As a human being, I need to put these songs away. I should be starting a fresh. Writing new songs. Singing from now.
I guess that outlook has to win out. Maybe I’ll feel better about tackling the older songs, maybe I should just forget them… Fuck, I’m boring myself with this. The red herring was Bless This House; that song was written in 2006 (I think), it was recorded last year, and it’s the most popular thing I’ve ever done. You can see how I’m obsessing that there is mileage in old songs. I was in an interesting place then, I feel like that era is when, in an alternate reality, I had my hit records. Instead, I was writing, bedridden in a spooky house, with just a crap PC and pirate software to try and get things done on. Nowadays I have everything I need to produce those big, ambitious songs, but my ambitions are smaller.
Christ; why am I even debating this? I’m having some time off from the studio next week; time to write some new songs…